Friday, March 6, 2015

These times are a changing

It's has been the worst of times.

Woodsrunner & I have parted ways.
I believed that we were on a break which I initiated but as of a few days ago he informed me he has plans to make it permanent.
Our relationship which was founded on a traditional husband-wife marriage grounded in the homesteading lifestyle began to stray from the path over a year ago.
I am sad.
I miss the man who was my husband.
And like with most things that make me sad I just don't think about it. As of late I've made a concerned effort to just lay this in God's hands.
Pretend I'm not sad.

For years I've had a medical condition that was for lack of a better phrase - pre-pre cancerous condition that while causing stress before each yearly mammogram was something I just lived with. As an aunt once told me when I asked her if anyone else in our family has lumps, " Why do you think we all have such great racks".
My diabetes was more on my health radar than having lumpy boobies. Recently that has changed. My four children vaguely know what the score is but no one else in r/t.
I have yet another mammogram, sonogram, biopsy scheduled for St. Patty's Day. Here's to the luck of a half-breed Irishman.
I'm hoping that it is both negative for cancer & that the powers that be will just remove them because it has gone from being tender to painful.

It has been the best of times.

Two of my four grown children have moved back home which means that the three of them are paying the utilities. Which is a godsend since Woodsrunner for a variety of reasons didn't get a full measure of firewood in before he moved out. It has been a comfort to come home is a warm for me house of 63 degrees & take a hot shower.
My son also paid for the furnace to be fixed after going for 6 weeks with only the wood stove on when either myself or my middle daughter was home.
Previous to that I hadn't realized that it was broke. I assumed hubby had did a quick run through in early Oct. Lesson learned always check on all your systems even those modern day high tech.

Keeping a house warm with a wood stove isn't difficult. Getting a stone cold home warm after 14 hours of no fire is a lesson futility. There was a lot of sleeping on cots in front of the stove as well as a few of those electric oil heaters for keeping the bathroom & kitchen water pipes fro freezing.

Having them home also means I have people asking me if I've eaten, or just a spontaneous hug. And extra hands to help with the long list of home repair projects has been real nice. Unfortunately with a pending divorce all work has been halted until the ink is signed on the decree & I once again have my house to myself.

Currently the order for the day is purging ... clothes that DON'T Fit, books, hobby supplies, duplicates of home repair supplies. Lack of clutter is very calming !

I've lost almost 50 pounds ... which hasn't helped my diabetes as much as I had hoped.
As my children are found of saying I am single handily bring back the fashion of late 1980s.
Yes I am a clothes hoarder ... somewhat. But in my defense I'd be half naked if it weren't for those boxes of semi skinny clothes in the attic now.

Well that's where I'm @ now ... sick, single, in the land of never ending Winter but grateful that I have both the skills and resources to make it to the other side of the river.

It can only get better from here.

~~ pelenaka ~~


  1. So sorry to hear your news. Although I have not personally experienced hat, I know that kind of change is never easy. But - you last paragraph and sentence show that you are approaching this stage of your life with the right attitude. That will stand you in good stead, and guide you well on your new journey.

    Good luck.

  2. Hugs to you pelenka and well done on that 50 pound weight loss.


  3. Thank you ladies ... life goes on.

  4. Well, glad to see you are still posting although it looks like unwanted drama continues. I'd been following your blog but then it went on hiatus. So a pleasant surprise to see you writing again.-P

    1. Thank you for still following I appreciate it.

  5. Pelenaka,
    here is a big hug for you. You can do this.
    So maybe this is the hardest year of your life. But it will go on. And I promise you this: it does get better.

    Hold on to and remember your blessings. Let go what's not important. Cut yourself slack when you need it. Avoid situations that make you feel bad! You don't need that in your life. It will get better. You can do this.

  6. Thank you Forrest always good to be reminded of our blessings.


Thanks, good to know there are other's with this interest